WRAD Memories

I can't believe that it's been nearly a year since my last post. Well, actually I can. I suck at this sometimes (a lot of the time?). Anyway, here is something that I'd written in December, but somehow didn't post. There is much to catch up on from the past year and lots that is happening/changing- but this needs to go up first while I work on the rest. So here goes... Ever since I first started toying with the idea of switching to registered homeschooling from our current enrolled status I've been second guessing that decision. (You can read about it  here .) When I talked with our 'school' people- somehow they seemed to make it all sound so easy that this really isn't such a big deal. It almost made me think that I should stay enrolled- mainly so I can get the funding for lessons and such. But there was no peace when I thought about that. It felt like I was trying to ride the fence and play both sides- trying to figure out how to do the minim...

Where to begin? This year has been crazy. Not just for me, but for a lot of my home schooling friends as well. I thought that going into year five of this home schooling journey was a bit of an 'arrival' of sorts. That just maybe I had 'made it' and was on to smoother sailings. Uhm.... no... Getting rid of the dog lifted a huge weight of the constant responsibility- but at the same time the heaviness was still there. Like a daughter who would break out into weeping fits when she thought about the dog and still asks me when he's coming back or when I will get another dog to replace him. I expended copious amount of time trying to deal with and train him- and getting rid of him signaled yet another failure that was emotionally hard to deal with. We also signed Elijah up with our local Air Cadet program and I have been volunteering with that as well. It's been interesting getting 'out' into the world again. For the past number of years our family ...

The first time it dawned on my was when Elijah was 6 weeks old. The first 'real' smile from our baby and Graham had gotten it. I was mad! I was also hurt, angry, confused... Why had HE gotten the first smile when I'm taking care of this baby 24/7? I'M the one that is up all night with him. I'M the one spending hours every day feeding him, changing his diaper, etc. But that's when I realized it- I was spending so much time 'taking care of' my baby that I forgot to enjoy my baby. And that's all that Graham did. Once I realized what I was doing (or rather NOT doing) I made some changes and eventually got my own smiles. But somehow, over time, I've fallen back into that rut. I've been so focused on the tasks of parenting that I've been missing out on the relationships of parenting. Teaching manners, training in chores, getting their school work done, music practiced- you know the parenting drill. Working for perfection and mis...

I always think it's neat when I can see God moving in my life. For me lately, everything I'm reading in my bible (as I attempt to go cover-to-cover in 90 days), all the sermons I'm hearing and the topics from our Friday night bible study group, are all pointing to the same thing. A total, heartfelt obedience to God. Like my blog post  here . This past week, I finally hit that moment of surrender. And was it ever freeing. God gave me such a cool picture to go along with it- but that's just for me and Him for now. But surrender is only the first step- now I need to walk that out. Doing ALL the things He asks me to and NOT doing those things that He says not to. I feel overwhelmed by it all. Where do I start? However, those thoughts are mine, not His. Surrender is listening for the next instruction and then doing it. And then repeating the whole listening/doing thing for the rest of my life. It's laying down my agenda for what I want to do/accompl...

A couple of weeks ago I read this really funny blog post (found here  Worst End of School Year Mom ). It was really quite hilarious and so where I'm at these days. I have grand intentions every time I start something new. Things like school years, diets, exercise regimes, organizational to-do lists, schedules, habits, blog posts, etc. You name it and I'm pretty good at starting it- but finishing it, well, let's just say I'm not too good at that part. Elijah doing his first potato sack race at their school's sports day- he ended up wiping out and not finishing well. Trying not to come in last. For the past week and a bit (it's taken me a while to get this post written and up), I've had God gently nudging me with the scripture from Heb. 12:1-3: the whole thing about persevering right to the very end- putting my whole heart and soul into things until they're finished. Unfortunately, I usually peter out after completing only 5 - 10% of som...