WRAD Memories

Earlier this month I went to a Ladies Retreat. I was so excited to finally have everything work out (or so I thought) for me to go. A friend had told me about the speaker several years earlier and they had had some retreats in the past, but they were too expensive and I either had a little one that couldn't be left or Graham was working and couldn't watch them. Finally, I realized that Graham actually had that weekend off and I had his permission- so I signed up to go. Only after I paid did I realize that I was actually supposed to be really busy that weekend. Elijah had the Cadet 'Tag Days' that weekend as well as Graham's work 'Family Fun Day'. Yikes! I actually considered cancelling but figured that if God had worked this out for me to go, I should go. Besides, I figured that I needed this 'refreshing' break to rejuvenate me to be a better wife/mom/teacher (that was the speaker's focus). Notice how I put the 'refreshing' part...

Over the past few weeks Rebekah and I have had an on-going argument. The general gist goes something like this: R: Jesus is dead. Me: Yes, he did die, but God brought Him back to life. R: No He didn't. He's dead and I want Him to stay dead. Me: It doesn't matter what you want here, He's alive whether you like or not. R: I don't. Me: exasperated sigh and much praying ensues. I was beginning to wonder where I went wrong with her. Was I not giving her enough time each day because I was so preoccupied with the boys and their school work? Probably- but was that it? Were we letting her watch something that we shouldn't be? Again, probably- but what was it exactly and was that the reason? Finally, a few days ago, something happened. After waking up Rebekah came up to me and told me that she had had a dream. As is my custom when my children tell me that they've had a dream, I ask them what it was about. As a side note, I am a prolific dreamer and ...

Where to begin? This year has been crazy. Not just for me, but for a lot of my home schooling friends as well. I thought that going into year five of this home schooling journey was a bit of an 'arrival' of sorts. That just maybe I had 'made it' and was on to smoother sailings. Uhm.... no... Getting rid of the dog lifted a huge weight of the constant responsibility- but at the same time the heaviness was still there. Like a daughter who would break out into weeping fits when she thought about the dog and still asks me when he's coming back or when I will get another dog to replace him. I expended copious amount of time trying to deal with and train him- and getting rid of him signaled yet another failure that was emotionally hard to deal with. We also signed Elijah up with our local Air Cadet program and I have been volunteering with that as well. It's been interesting getting 'out' into the world again. For the past number of years our family ...

I didn't cave. I also should have just stayed off of Facebook, but I didn't cave. Last summer I chose NOT send my kids to summer camp- even though, seemingly, ALL their friends were going. The same week. All of them. Well, not really, of course. But honestly, with Facebook status updates coming in fast and furiously- it really did seem like it. And I wondered, 'Am I a bad mom because I didn't send my kids to summer camp with their friends?' At one point, I seriously thought about calling up the camp (after the week had started) and seeing if I couldn't somehow manage to get them in anyway. I let the thought pass- and didn't cave. But I still feel a tinge of guilt about it and I'm dreading the decision about this summer already. Fast forward a few more months- to February 7, 2014 to be exact. Pretty much anyone with even the slightest interest in Lego will know what that date means. The release of their first full-length feature movie....

The first time it dawned on my was when Elijah was 6 weeks old. The first 'real' smile from our baby and Graham had gotten it. I was mad! I was also hurt, angry, confused... Why had HE gotten the first smile when I'm taking care of this baby 24/7? I'M the one that is up all night with him. I'M the one spending hours every day feeding him, changing his diaper, etc. But that's when I realized it- I was spending so much time 'taking care of' my baby that I forgot to enjoy my baby. And that's all that Graham did. Once I realized what I was doing (or rather NOT doing) I made some changes and eventually got my own smiles. But somehow, over time, I've fallen back into that rut. I've been so focused on the tasks of parenting that I've been missing out on the relationships of parenting. Teaching manners, training in chores, getting their school work done, music practiced- you know the parenting drill. Working for perfection and mis...