Earlier this month I went to a Ladies Retreat.
I was so excited to finally have everything work out (or so I thought) for me to go. A friend had told me about the speaker several years earlier and they had had some retreats in the past, but they were too expensive and I either had a little one that couldn't be left or Graham was working and couldn't watch them.
Finally, I realized that Graham actually had that weekend off and I had his permission- so I signed up to go.
Only after I paid did I realize that I was actually supposed to be really busy that weekend. Elijah had the Cadet 'Tag Days' that weekend as well as Graham's work 'Family Fun Day'.
Yikes! I actually considered cancelling but figured that if God had worked this out for me to go, I should go. Besides, I figured that I needed this 'refreshing' break to rejuvenate me to be a better wife/mom/teacher (that was the speaker's focus).
Notice how I put the 'refreshing' part in quotations. Yeah, well- it turned out to be anything but that. I was so frustrated that I wanted to leave Friday night already.
Now don't get me wrong, it started off quite well. I was actually enjoying the speaker and was gleaning some great insights (convictions) about how I've been thinking/speaking about my little darlings over the past few months.
But then things took a turn for the worse and didn't really ever seem to recover.
It was simply the weirdest thing I've ever been to (and I've seen some crazy things). The speaker would say something that was true, but then she'd start 'interpreting' it for us- telling us exactly how that should look. And let me tell you, there was some insane stuff that was said.
My spirit was incredibly grieved for the woman listening to this because of the hurtful guilt and condemnation that was coming out of this woman's mouth! Then I felt guilty for being so critical. Yet EVERYONE that I spoke with said that it was just understood that you had to sift through what this person was saying and glean what you could from it and leave the rest.
Seriously?
The only analogy that I could come up with is Chicken Soup.
When I make Chicken Soup I cook the carcass (bones) in with the veggies to meld all the flavours. However, before I serve it to anyone, I go through and do my very best to pick out all the bones so that people can just enjoy the soup without having to spend the entire meal picking out the bones themselves.
Then, when everyone sits down I still caution that while I have done my best, please still be careful just in case I missed something.
That's what I expect from a world renowned speaker.
I don't expect to go for a 'meal' and come away 'starving' because not only didn't they pick out the bones but they took away the meat and added more bones to the soup!
Now, lest you think that I was constantly trying to find fault- please believe me, I was REALLY trying not to. I had an idea of where the speaker stood on the issues and wanted to be open-minded and receptive to what God was wanting to challenge me with throughout the weekend (that's why I went). I was constantly taking what she said and asking God if my objections were true to His word or my own faulty thoughts.
Unfortunately, by Saturday night, people's salvation was being questioned based on their choice of schooling option and their sanity on the basis of what foods they fed their families. Really?
It made my head hurt and my spirit and heart insanely heavy.
This speaker was leading us down a path of works (do x, y, z and you'll be following God's ultimate plan for humanity- if you deviate, you're not really a Christian) and holding it up as the crowning glory of our existence.
I honestly have been troubled by this for days since- wrestling with what was truth vs error and praying that only what God wanted said would be what was received and that He would reveal any and all error to the speaker herself (I will probably still write a response directly once I have it finally sorted out for myself).
And what I come to is that first and foremost in my existence here on earth is my relationship with God- not being a wife, not being a mother to as many children as possible, not home schooling my kids, not feeding them completely organic food, not keeping them out of everything and anything so that I can be the 'inner sanctuary' of my home, etc.
Everything else needs to come from THAT place of intimacy and HE needs to guide the rest- not some man-made ideal of true Christianity.
Especially now, as we celebrate the death and Resurrection of Christ, I am reminded of the grace and mercy that it now brings to our lives.
The grace that starts with intimacy and leads to outward action (not the other way around).
Keeping it real, by the grace of God...
Tammy
I was so excited to finally have everything work out (or so I thought) for me to go. A friend had told me about the speaker several years earlier and they had had some retreats in the past, but they were too expensive and I either had a little one that couldn't be left or Graham was working and couldn't watch them.
Finally, I realized that Graham actually had that weekend off and I had his permission- so I signed up to go.
Only after I paid did I realize that I was actually supposed to be really busy that weekend. Elijah had the Cadet 'Tag Days' that weekend as well as Graham's work 'Family Fun Day'.
Yikes! I actually considered cancelling but figured that if God had worked this out for me to go, I should go. Besides, I figured that I needed this 'refreshing' break to rejuvenate me to be a better wife/mom/teacher (that was the speaker's focus).
Notice how I put the 'refreshing' part in quotations. Yeah, well- it turned out to be anything but that. I was so frustrated that I wanted to leave Friday night already.
Now don't get me wrong, it started off quite well. I was actually enjoying the speaker and was gleaning some great insights (convictions) about how I've been thinking/speaking about my little darlings over the past few months.
But then things took a turn for the worse and didn't really ever seem to recover.
It was simply the weirdest thing I've ever been to (and I've seen some crazy things). The speaker would say something that was true, but then she'd start 'interpreting' it for us- telling us exactly how that should look. And let me tell you, there was some insane stuff that was said.
My spirit was incredibly grieved for the woman listening to this because of the hurtful guilt and condemnation that was coming out of this woman's mouth! Then I felt guilty for being so critical. Yet EVERYONE that I spoke with said that it was just understood that you had to sift through what this person was saying and glean what you could from it and leave the rest.
Seriously?
The only analogy that I could come up with is Chicken Soup.
When I make Chicken Soup I cook the carcass (bones) in with the veggies to meld all the flavours. However, before I serve it to anyone, I go through and do my very best to pick out all the bones so that people can just enjoy the soup without having to spend the entire meal picking out the bones themselves.
Then, when everyone sits down I still caution that while I have done my best, please still be careful just in case I missed something.
That's what I expect from a world renowned speaker.
I don't expect to go for a 'meal' and come away 'starving' because not only didn't they pick out the bones but they took away the meat and added more bones to the soup!
Now, lest you think that I was constantly trying to find fault- please believe me, I was REALLY trying not to. I had an idea of where the speaker stood on the issues and wanted to be open-minded and receptive to what God was wanting to challenge me with throughout the weekend (that's why I went). I was constantly taking what she said and asking God if my objections were true to His word or my own faulty thoughts.
Unfortunately, by Saturday night, people's salvation was being questioned based on their choice of schooling option and their sanity on the basis of what foods they fed their families. Really?
It made my head hurt and my spirit and heart insanely heavy.
This speaker was leading us down a path of works (do x, y, z and you'll be following God's ultimate plan for humanity- if you deviate, you're not really a Christian) and holding it up as the crowning glory of our existence.
I honestly have been troubled by this for days since- wrestling with what was truth vs error and praying that only what God wanted said would be what was received and that He would reveal any and all error to the speaker herself (I will probably still write a response directly once I have it finally sorted out for myself).
And what I come to is that first and foremost in my existence here on earth is my relationship with God- not being a wife, not being a mother to as many children as possible, not home schooling my kids, not feeding them completely organic food, not keeping them out of everything and anything so that I can be the 'inner sanctuary' of my home, etc.
Everything else needs to come from THAT place of intimacy and HE needs to guide the rest- not some man-made ideal of true Christianity.
Especially now, as we celebrate the death and Resurrection of Christ, I am reminded of the grace and mercy that it now brings to our lives.
The grace that starts with intimacy and leads to outward action (not the other way around).
Keeping it real, by the grace of God...
Tammy
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