I didn't cave. I also should have just stayed off of Facebook, but I didn't cave.
Last summer I chose NOT send my kids to summer camp- even though, seemingly, ALL their friends were going.
The same week.
All of them.
Well, not really, of course. But honestly, with Facebook status updates coming in fast and furiously- it really did seem like it.
And I wondered, 'Am I a bad mom because I didn't send my kids to summer camp with their friends?'
At one point, I seriously thought about calling up the camp (after the week had started) and seeing if I couldn't somehow manage to get them in anyway. I let the thought pass- and didn't cave.
But I still feel a tinge of guilt about it and I'm dreading the decision about this summer already.
Fast forward a few more months- to February 7, 2014 to be exact.
Pretty much anyone with even the slightest interest in Lego will know what that date means.
The release of their first full-length feature movie.
We still haven't seen it.
It's not that I didn't want to go- I just wanted to wait the extra couple of days to go to the cheap theater, where I pay $3/ticket instead of $6-10/ticket. This is important when there are 6 or 7 of us going.
Only problem was, it's not playing in the local cheap theater and the other theaters didn't have any matinees going on Tuesday so that Elijah could go (he's busy in the evenings).
So we didn't go.
I was upset and the kids were upset.
And, every time they've been with their friends they remind me how EVERYONE has already seen the movie and they keep talking about it and kind of spoiling it for them.
Oh, and how they'll probably NEVER get to go see it.
Ah yes, let's just add to the mommy guilt- it's not like I don't have enough of it already these days.
But I've been thinking lately about WHY I think that if I can't give my kids everything that I am somehow failing them?
Our home is already over-run with stuff- to the point the I think we're all going a lot crazy. The kids' rooms and the playroom are wall-to-wall toys/clothes/misc. Everyone is cranky and bored- even with everything that we have to play with.
And I think that's the problem.
We keep accumulating stuff to fill something that only God can fill. And it still leaves us empty, yet plagued with the responsibility to keep it all in order.
Then, in order to numb ourselves even further, we plunk ourselves in front of the tv/computer to whittle away the hours.
And me? I eat. There- now you know my dirty little secret (although with the way I look it's not really a secret- I just keep telling myself it is).
A lot of the things that God's been showing me lately are all linked to this- I'm trying to find meaning, purpose, satisfaction, etc. in things other than God.
Life is out of control and broken right now. The fighting, the arguing, the disobedience, the mess, the chaos!
And I hate ever single minute of it!
But do I hate the chaos enough to FINALLY... FINALLY DO something about it? To stop running after everything else and chose God ALONE?
Last night, God brought Joshua 24:14-15 to mind where it reads: "Then Joshua said to the people, “Now you have heard the Lord’s words. So you must respect the Lord and sincerely serve him. Throw away the false gods that your ancestors worshiped. That was something that happened a long time ago on the other side of the Euphrates River and in Egypt. Now you must serve only the Lord. But maybe you don’t want to serve the Lord. You must choose for yourselves today. Today you must decide who you will serve. Will you serve the gods that your ancestors worshiped when they lived on the other side of the Euphrates River? Or will you serve the gods of the Amorites who lived in this land? You must choose for yourselves. But as for me and my family, we will serve the Lord.”
That last part- 'you must decide who you will serve... but as for me and my house, we will serve the Lord' is what kept repeating in my head. In what am I going to keep searching? The approval of other people or God? Food, things, activities, whatever... or God?
I think for the next while my 'mantra' needs to be, 'but as for me and my family, we will serve the Lord.'
Keeping it real, by the grace of God...
Tammy
Last summer I chose NOT send my kids to summer camp- even though, seemingly, ALL their friends were going.
The same week.
All of them.
Well, not really, of course. But honestly, with Facebook status updates coming in fast and furiously- it really did seem like it.
And I wondered, 'Am I a bad mom because I didn't send my kids to summer camp with their friends?'
At one point, I seriously thought about calling up the camp (after the week had started) and seeing if I couldn't somehow manage to get them in anyway. I let the thought pass- and didn't cave.
But I still feel a tinge of guilt about it and I'm dreading the decision about this summer already.
Fast forward a few more months- to February 7, 2014 to be exact.
Pretty much anyone with even the slightest interest in Lego will know what that date means.
The release of their first full-length feature movie.
We still haven't seen it.
It's not that I didn't want to go- I just wanted to wait the extra couple of days to go to the cheap theater, where I pay $3/ticket instead of $6-10/ticket. This is important when there are 6 or 7 of us going.
Only problem was, it's not playing in the local cheap theater and the other theaters didn't have any matinees going on Tuesday so that Elijah could go (he's busy in the evenings).
So we didn't go.
I was upset and the kids were upset.
And, every time they've been with their friends they remind me how EVERYONE has already seen the movie and they keep talking about it and kind of spoiling it for them.
Oh, and how they'll probably NEVER get to go see it.
Ah yes, let's just add to the mommy guilt- it's not like I don't have enough of it already these days.
But I've been thinking lately about WHY I think that if I can't give my kids everything that I am somehow failing them?
Our home is already over-run with stuff- to the point the I think we're all going a lot crazy. The kids' rooms and the playroom are wall-to-wall toys/clothes/misc. Everyone is cranky and bored- even with everything that we have to play with.
And I think that's the problem.
We keep accumulating stuff to fill something that only God can fill. And it still leaves us empty, yet plagued with the responsibility to keep it all in order.
Then, in order to numb ourselves even further, we plunk ourselves in front of the tv/computer to whittle away the hours.
And me? I eat. There- now you know my dirty little secret (although with the way I look it's not really a secret- I just keep telling myself it is).
A lot of the things that God's been showing me lately are all linked to this- I'm trying to find meaning, purpose, satisfaction, etc. in things other than God.
Life is out of control and broken right now. The fighting, the arguing, the disobedience, the mess, the chaos!
And I hate ever single minute of it!
But do I hate the chaos enough to FINALLY... FINALLY DO something about it? To stop running after everything else and chose God ALONE?
Last night, God brought Joshua 24:14-15 to mind where it reads: "Then Joshua said to the people, “Now you have heard the Lord’s words. So you must respect the Lord and sincerely serve him. Throw away the false gods that your ancestors worshiped. That was something that happened a long time ago on the other side of the Euphrates River and in Egypt. Now you must serve only the Lord. But maybe you don’t want to serve the Lord. You must choose for yourselves today. Today you must decide who you will serve. Will you serve the gods that your ancestors worshiped when they lived on the other side of the Euphrates River? Or will you serve the gods of the Amorites who lived in this land? You must choose for yourselves. But as for me and my family, we will serve the Lord.”
That last part- 'you must decide who you will serve... but as for me and my house, we will serve the Lord' is what kept repeating in my head. In what am I going to keep searching? The approval of other people or God? Food, things, activities, whatever... or God?
I think for the next while my 'mantra' needs to be, 'but as for me and my family, we will serve the Lord.'
Keeping it real, by the grace of God...
Tammy
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