WRAD Memories

Over the past few weeks Rebekah and I have had an on-going argument. The general gist goes something like this: R: Jesus is dead. Me: Yes, he did die, but God brought Him back to life. R: No He didn't. He's dead and I want Him to stay dead. Me: It doesn't matter what you want here, He's alive whether you like or not. R: I don't. Me: exasperated sigh and much praying ensues. I was beginning to wonder where I went wrong with her. Was I not giving her enough time each day because I was so preoccupied with the boys and their school work? Probably- but was that it? Were we letting her watch something that we shouldn't be? Again, probably- but what was it exactly and was that the reason? Finally, a few days ago, something happened. After waking up Rebekah came up to me and told me that she had had a dream. As is my custom when my children tell me that they've had a dream, I ask them what it was about. As a side note, I am a prolific dreamer and ...

Where to begin? This year has been crazy. Not just for me, but for a lot of my home schooling friends as well. I thought that going into year five of this home schooling journey was a bit of an 'arrival' of sorts. That just maybe I had 'made it' and was on to smoother sailings. Uhm.... no... Getting rid of the dog lifted a huge weight of the constant responsibility- but at the same time the heaviness was still there. Like a daughter who would break out into weeping fits when she thought about the dog and still asks me when he's coming back or when I will get another dog to replace him. I expended copious amount of time trying to deal with and train him- and getting rid of him signaled yet another failure that was emotionally hard to deal with. We also signed Elijah up with our local Air Cadet program and I have been volunteering with that as well. It's been interesting getting 'out' into the world again. For the past number of years our family ...

I didn't cave. I also should have just stayed off of Facebook, but I didn't cave. Last summer I chose NOT send my kids to summer camp- even though, seemingly, ALL their friends were going. The same week. All of them. Well, not really, of course. But honestly, with Facebook status updates coming in fast and furiously- it really did seem like it. And I wondered, 'Am I a bad mom because I didn't send my kids to summer camp with their friends?' At one point, I seriously thought about calling up the camp (after the week had started) and seeing if I couldn't somehow manage to get them in anyway. I let the thought pass- and didn't cave. But I still feel a tinge of guilt about it and I'm dreading the decision about this summer already. Fast forward a few more months- to February 7, 2014 to be exact. Pretty much anyone with even the slightest interest in Lego will know what that date means. The release of their first full-length feature movie....

The first time it dawned on my was when Elijah was 6 weeks old. The first 'real' smile from our baby and Graham had gotten it. I was mad! I was also hurt, angry, confused... Why had HE gotten the first smile when I'm taking care of this baby 24/7? I'M the one that is up all night with him. I'M the one spending hours every day feeding him, changing his diaper, etc. But that's when I realized it- I was spending so much time 'taking care of' my baby that I forgot to enjoy my baby. And that's all that Graham did. Once I realized what I was doing (or rather NOT doing) I made some changes and eventually got my own smiles. But somehow, over time, I've fallen back into that rut. I've been so focused on the tasks of parenting that I've been missing out on the relationships of parenting. Teaching manners, training in chores, getting their school work done, music practiced- you know the parenting drill. Working for perfection and mis...

Over the past month or so, I've been sort of trying to figure out how to embrace Christmas in a more reflective way- to get beyond the secular to the sacred. I'm not sure it happened. Now that I'm on the other side of Christmas for another year, I find myself reflecting once again on just what exactly is the point of all of it? I did pretty much all the things that I thought would help us reflect on the WHY of Christmas as well as spend time together as a family making memories: baking, advent readings, Christmas concerts/plays, skipping school for snow days, etc. And I wonder, did I even manage to plant a seed in my childrens' subconscious minds about WHY I was having them do any of this stuff? To focus on the WHY (Jesus needing to come and die for our sins) instead of the STUFF. Somehow I can't seem to shake the feeling that somehow we (read- they) STILL missed it. Sort of like the people did when Jesus first came- they were looking for a revolutionary...