WRAD Memories

Earlier this month I went to a Ladies Retreat. I was so excited to finally have everything work out (or so I thought) for me to go. A friend had told me about the speaker several years earlier and they had had some retreats in the past, but they were too expensive and I either had a little one that couldn't be left or Graham was working and couldn't watch them. Finally, I realized that Graham actually had that weekend off and I had his permission- so I signed up to go. Only after I paid did I realize that I was actually supposed to be really busy that weekend. Elijah had the Cadet 'Tag Days' that weekend as well as Graham's work 'Family Fun Day'. Yikes! I actually considered cancelling but figured that if God had worked this out for me to go, I should go. Besides, I figured that I needed this 'refreshing' break to rejuvenate me to be a better wife/mom/teacher (that was the speaker's focus). Notice how I put the 'refreshing' part...

The first time it dawned on my was when Elijah was 6 weeks old. The first 'real' smile from our baby and Graham had gotten it. I was mad! I was also hurt, angry, confused... Why had HE gotten the first smile when I'm taking care of this baby 24/7? I'M the one that is up all night with him. I'M the one spending hours every day feeding him, changing his diaper, etc. But that's when I realized it- I was spending so much time 'taking care of' my baby that I forgot to enjoy my baby. And that's all that Graham did. Once I realized what I was doing (or rather NOT doing) I made some changes and eventually got my own smiles. But somehow, over time, I've fallen back into that rut. I've been so focused on the tasks of parenting that I've been missing out on the relationships of parenting. Teaching manners, training in chores, getting their school work done, music practiced- you know the parenting drill. Working for perfection and mis...

Have you ever had one of those days where you just feel like nearly every decision you make seem to be bad ones? Or maybe it seems like it's been weeks... or months... or even years! You think that you have all your logical reasons for or against something, but then after you move in that direction it no longer seems like such a great idea? It's kind of ironic some days that my baptism verse was Is. 30:21 "Whether you turn to the right or to the left, your ears will hear a voice behind you, saying, "This is the way; walk in it."." There are so many days that I either haven't felt like I heard anything or when I thought I heard something, somehow it didn't seem like it was really the right voice that I heard. My first foray into hearing God's voice was while reading the book by Bill Hybels "Too Busy Not to Pray" (I think). From that time on I've tended to live by the idea that as long as it doesn't contradict scriptur...

I don't know about you, but finding a quiet moment during the day to 'find my marbles' can be really hard. I guess having five kids around 24/7 will do that. I still chuckle when I remember reading about what Suzanna Wesley would do to get some 'quiet' time (she had 10 kids, by the way!)- she would sit down in her rocking chair and take her apron and flip it up over her head. That was the signal that nobody had better bug her! She did this everyday before she schooled her children. I can't imagine my kids not terrorizing each other (just like how they're fine until the phone rings- and then their misbehaviour is in direct proportion to the importance of the call)! Before I had kids, I had lots of time to get into my prayer closet and 'be still'. Oh, how I miss those days! It's been a challenge to figure out how to be still the more kids I have. I often long for the intimacy and excitement of those days- we had an extra room that was mine, a...