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Being Still

I don't know about you, but finding a quiet moment during the day to 'find my marbles' can be really hard. I guess having five kids around 24/7 will do that.

I still chuckle when I remember reading about what Suzanna Wesley would do to get some 'quiet' time (she had 10 kids, by the way!)- she would sit down in her rocking chair and take her apron and flip it up over her head. That was the signal that nobody had better bug her! She did this everyday before she schooled her children. I can't imagine my kids not terrorizing each other (just like how they're fine until the phone rings- and then their misbehaviour is in direct proportion to the importance of the call)!

Before I had kids, I had lots of time to get into my prayer closet and 'be still'. Oh, how I miss those days! It's been a challenge to figure out how to be still the more kids I have. I often long for the intimacy and excitement of those days- we had an extra room that was mine, a giant 'prayer closet' if you will. Eventually, that became a nursery and so began the journey of redefining what a prayer closet was and how to 'be still'.

I think a lot of times we hold on to things and ideals long after that season has passed and miss the new thing that God is trying to do in our lives and wonder why things aren't going the way we had hoped.

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Psalm 81 talks about how God heard the groanings of the Israelite's while they were captive in Egypt and then rescued them- only to have them get caught up in their own desires. So, in an effort to draw them back to Himself, God gave them over to the stubbornness of their own hearts.

Honestly, that scares me.

At our home group recently we watched a DVD session from John Bevere's 'Drawing Near' curriculum. Amazing! I really should have been taking notes as there were so many things that God was hitting me with that I can't even remember a 1/4 of it all. Definitely need to watch it several more times.

But one of the things that I do remember was his reference to Ps. 81 and how if we aren't practicing 'being still' and drawing near to God, we will deceive ourselves into thinking that we are actually following God when we really aren't. (He points to I Sam. 15 as an example of this.)

There are a number of things on my 'to get answers from God' list that I'm trying to 'be still' for. Some of them I didn't want to ask about for the longest time because I was scared that the answer would be 'NO', since I really wanted to do those things. Yet when I finally did ask, all the answers were 'YES'.

That really confused me. Why would He say yes?

Now, though, I realize that I might have fallen into the trap where I really wasn't truly and honestly looking for God's will- and so He 'rubber stamped' my will, because deep down that's what I was wanting.

So then, how do I 'be still' and empty myself of me so that HE can really rule my life?

I guess the first thing is to start with what I already know He wants me to be (or not be) doing. Why would He tell me anything else if I haven't first obeyed what I know He has already said? (I Sam. 15:22)

Next, I need to shut off / unplug all the distractions that keep me from having time with Him. This will probably already be related to the previous point, but if it isn't- it should be. If our lives are so full of everything this world has to offer (or showing us what it offers in a bid to convince us that we need it), why do we think that there would be any room in it for Him?


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And then we lament the lack of hunger we have for Him. It's no wonder (as I remind myself of this!).

Then, we need to spend time with Him- however that looks. Not coming with an agenda, but rather, just coming to Him for the pure pleasure of spending time with Him. Maybe it's singing a worship song at the top of your lungs, dancing around the house with your kids looking at you like you're crazy. Or praising God for the beauty of His creation while taking the kids for a walk. Or maybe it's picking a regular spot on the couch and putting a blanket or apron over your head and tuning everything else out in order to read just ONE verse before the kids blow the house up.

Because today it might only be one verse, but tomorrow might be two. And the next day, Lord willing, you'll get to five- or more. But it all starts with deciding to do SOMETHING.

So often we want the 10-step formula of how to do or change whatever. I don't want this to seem like that for a few reasons. One, I haven't truly figured this out in my own life. Two, we're all different and what works for one person won't work for someone else and three, I don't want people to get hung up on steps and feel like a failure when it doesn't seem to 'work' for them.

Spending time with someone you love shouldn't be a chore. As in human relationships, I know some days love needs to just be a choice to keep doing even when we don't feel like it or we're tired or whatever.

But I believe that the more we spend time with God, growing in intimacy with Him, we'll have fewer days where we have to MAKE ourselves spend time with Him and more where we'll be looking out for ways to STEAL time to be with Him.

And honestly, I can hardly wait till I'm at that place.

Keeping it real, by the grace of God...
Tammy


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