Have you ever had one of those days where you just feel like nearly every decision you make seem to be bad ones? Or maybe it seems like it's been weeks... or months... or even years!
You think that you have all your logical reasons for or against something, but then after you move in that direction it no longer seems like such a great idea?
It's kind of ironic some days that my baptism verse was Is. 30:21 "Whether you turn to the right or to the left, your ears will hear a voice behind you, saying, "This is the way; walk in it."." There are so many days that I either haven't felt like I heard anything or when I thought I heard something, somehow it didn't seem like it was really the right voice that I heard.
My first foray into hearing God's voice was while reading the book by Bill Hybels "Too Busy Not to Pray" (I think). From that time on I've tended to live by the idea that as long as it doesn't contradict scripture, I'm going to assume it's God and walk in it until I know differently. For the most part, when I really work at it, knowing what's God and what isn't gets easier the more you practice it.
Unfortunately, I haven't been practicing it a whole lot lately.
Or at least it seems that way.
But, I've also discovered that what we hear can be clouded by the desires of our heart (see my post about that here). Ps. 81:12 says that God "... gave them over to their stubborn hearts to follow their own devices."
Honestly, that's a REALLY scary concept.
Most of the time, when a situation presents itself, our hearts immediately have a reaction either for or against something. Then, when we go to pray about it, we are predisposed to hearing what our hearts really want- which is NOT necessarily what God wants.
Jeremiah 17:9 says that, "The heart is more deceitful than anything else, and incurable--who can understand it?"
Earlier this year there were a number of things I was asking God for answers to. Amazingly, pretty much every question I asked was met with a "YES!"
Truth be told, this shocked me. Immensely.
I have struggled quite a bit with the 'I never get anything'/'woe is me' type attitude- so when God actually says 'YES' to something, I'm usually very surprised. Quite often I find that 'no' can actually be an easier answer to get than 'yes'. 'No' can even lend itself to the 'martyr' complex- which often gets you the 'sympathy' attention.
Fast-forward a few months, and learning about Ps. 81:12, and I'm not so sure that it was so much God saying 'yes' as it was Him giving me over to what my 'deceitful heart' wanted in the first place.
These decisions, yet again, have hit us big time in the bank account. So, it's very easy to let your mind wander down into places that God doesn't want it going.
How could I have been so stupid....?
Why did we ever do this....?
What were we thinking....? (Or were we?)
How can we possibly fix this...?
One thing that really boggles my mind about God is how He can continually wipe the slate clean when we simply ask Him for forgiveness.
Think about it- when your kids/spouse/friends do something to hurt you, it practically brands the memory and emotions into your heart and mind. The person who came up with the saying 'forgive and forget' must have been a hermit! I think this is why we so often have a hard time understanding and/or believing that God would actually do that for us (through Jesus Christ, of course).
But that is exactly what happens. Sin + Repentance = Forgiven; all because Jesus died and rose again- defeating the power of sin and death by paying the penalty for us.
Now, even though we receive that forgiveness, we still have to move forward with our lives- living out the consequences of our choices. THAT'S where things can get even harder- especially when they include the mind games I mentioned above.
But the purpose of Ps. 81:12 is really shown in the next verses: 13"Oh that My people would listen to Me, That Israel would walk in My ways! 14"I would quickly subdue their enemies And turn My hand against their adversaries. 15"Those who hate the LORD would pretend obedience to Him, And their time of punishment would be forever. 16"But I would feed you with the finest of the wheat, And with honey from the rock I would satisfy you."
The point is God lets us do our thing so that we will realize the futility of seeking things outside His will- SO WE WILL COME BACK TO HIM AS OUR FIRST LOVE! That we would be SATISFIED in HIM ALONE.
That is why His mercies are new every morning (Jer. 3:22ff). Did you read that?
New. Every. Morning. Read that again. And again.
Every. Morning. Are you understanding this?
As my husband and I were talking about these bad decisions and how it makes us feel like failures, again- I said to him, 'I have to believe that God will take our effort to make things right and work with us on it to make it better and help us learn to do better in the process' (Rom. 8:28). But first, we need to change and seek Him- not our deceitful heart's desires.
His mercies are new every morning. No matter how many times I mess up in a day, His mercies will be new again for tomorrow. For that I'm grateful.
So that's what I'm going to choose to focus on for today. And tomorrow. And the day after, etc.
Keeping it real, by the grace of God...
Tammy
You think that you have all your logical reasons for or against something, but then after you move in that direction it no longer seems like such a great idea?
It's kind of ironic some days that my baptism verse was Is. 30:21 "Whether you turn to the right or to the left, your ears will hear a voice behind you, saying, "This is the way; walk in it."." There are so many days that I either haven't felt like I heard anything or when I thought I heard something, somehow it didn't seem like it was really the right voice that I heard.
My first foray into hearing God's voice was while reading the book by Bill Hybels "Too Busy Not to Pray" (I think). From that time on I've tended to live by the idea that as long as it doesn't contradict scripture, I'm going to assume it's God and walk in it until I know differently. For the most part, when I really work at it, knowing what's God and what isn't gets easier the more you practice it.
Unfortunately, I haven't been practicing it a whole lot lately.
Or at least it seems that way.
But, I've also discovered that what we hear can be clouded by the desires of our heart (see my post about that here). Ps. 81:12 says that God "... gave them over to their stubborn hearts to follow their own devices."
Honestly, that's a REALLY scary concept.
Most of the time, when a situation presents itself, our hearts immediately have a reaction either for or against something. Then, when we go to pray about it, we are predisposed to hearing what our hearts really want- which is NOT necessarily what God wants.
Jeremiah 17:9 says that, "The heart is more deceitful than anything else, and incurable--who can understand it?"
Earlier this year there were a number of things I was asking God for answers to. Amazingly, pretty much every question I asked was met with a "YES!"
Truth be told, this shocked me. Immensely.
I have struggled quite a bit with the 'I never get anything'/'woe is me' type attitude- so when God actually says 'YES' to something, I'm usually very surprised. Quite often I find that 'no' can actually be an easier answer to get than 'yes'. 'No' can even lend itself to the 'martyr' complex- which often gets you the 'sympathy' attention.
Fast-forward a few months, and learning about Ps. 81:12, and I'm not so sure that it was so much God saying 'yes' as it was Him giving me over to what my 'deceitful heart' wanted in the first place.
These decisions, yet again, have hit us big time in the bank account. So, it's very easy to let your mind wander down into places that God doesn't want it going.
How could I have been so stupid....?
Why did we ever do this....?
What were we thinking....? (Or were we?)
How can we possibly fix this...?
One thing that really boggles my mind about God is how He can continually wipe the slate clean when we simply ask Him for forgiveness.
Think about it- when your kids/spouse/friends do something to hurt you, it practically brands the memory and emotions into your heart and mind. The person who came up with the saying 'forgive and forget' must have been a hermit! I think this is why we so often have a hard time understanding and/or believing that God would actually do that for us (through Jesus Christ, of course).
But that is exactly what happens. Sin + Repentance = Forgiven; all because Jesus died and rose again- defeating the power of sin and death by paying the penalty for us.
Now, even though we receive that forgiveness, we still have to move forward with our lives- living out the consequences of our choices. THAT'S where things can get even harder- especially when they include the mind games I mentioned above.
But the purpose of Ps. 81:12 is really shown in the next verses: 13"Oh that My people would listen to Me, That Israel would walk in My ways! 14"I would quickly subdue their enemies And turn My hand against their adversaries. 15"Those who hate the LORD would pretend obedience to Him, And their time of punishment would be forever. 16"But I would feed you with the finest of the wheat, And with honey from the rock I would satisfy you."
The point is God lets us do our thing so that we will realize the futility of seeking things outside His will- SO WE WILL COME BACK TO HIM AS OUR FIRST LOVE! That we would be SATISFIED in HIM ALONE.
That is why His mercies are new every morning (Jer. 3:22ff). Did you read that?
New. Every. Morning. Read that again. And again.
Every. Morning. Are you understanding this?
As my husband and I were talking about these bad decisions and how it makes us feel like failures, again- I said to him, 'I have to believe that God will take our effort to make things right and work with us on it to make it better and help us learn to do better in the process' (Rom. 8:28). But first, we need to change and seek Him- not our deceitful heart's desires.
His mercies are new every morning. No matter how many times I mess up in a day, His mercies will be new again for tomorrow. For that I'm grateful.
So that's what I'm going to choose to focus on for today. And tomorrow. And the day after, etc.
Keeping it real, by the grace of God...
Tammy
Comments
Post a Comment