WRAD Memories

Where to begin? This year has been crazy. Not just for me, but for a lot of my home schooling friends as well. I thought that going into year five of this home schooling journey was a bit of an 'arrival' of sorts. That just maybe I had 'made it' and was on to smoother sailings. Uhm.... no... Getting rid of the dog lifted a huge weight of the constant responsibility- but at the same time the heaviness was still there. Like a daughter who would break out into weeping fits when she thought about the dog and still asks me when he's coming back or when I will get another dog to replace him. I expended copious amount of time trying to deal with and train him- and getting rid of him signaled yet another failure that was emotionally hard to deal with. We also signed Elijah up with our local Air Cadet program and I have been volunteering with that as well. It's been interesting getting 'out' into the world again. For the past number of years our family ...

The first time it dawned on my was when Elijah was 6 weeks old. The first 'real' smile from our baby and Graham had gotten it. I was mad! I was also hurt, angry, confused... Why had HE gotten the first smile when I'm taking care of this baby 24/7? I'M the one that is up all night with him. I'M the one spending hours every day feeding him, changing his diaper, etc. But that's when I realized it- I was spending so much time 'taking care of' my baby that I forgot to enjoy my baby. And that's all that Graham did. Once I realized what I was doing (or rather NOT doing) I made some changes and eventually got my own smiles. But somehow, over time, I've fallen back into that rut. I've been so focused on the tasks of parenting that I've been missing out on the relationships of parenting. Teaching manners, training in chores, getting their school work done, music practiced- you know the parenting drill. Working for perfection and mis...

Over the past month or so, I've been sort of trying to figure out how to embrace Christmas in a more reflective way- to get beyond the secular to the sacred. I'm not sure it happened. Now that I'm on the other side of Christmas for another year, I find myself reflecting once again on just what exactly is the point of all of it? I did pretty much all the things that I thought would help us reflect on the WHY of Christmas as well as spend time together as a family making memories: baking, advent readings, Christmas concerts/plays, skipping school for snow days, etc. And I wonder, did I even manage to plant a seed in my childrens' subconscious minds about WHY I was having them do any of this stuff? To focus on the WHY (Jesus needing to come and die for our sins) instead of the STUFF. Somehow I can't seem to shake the feeling that somehow we (read- they) STILL missed it. Sort of like the people did when Jesus first came- they were looking for a revolutionary...

A few days ago I watched a video about distracted moms (by Carol Barnier author of the book "If I'm Diapering a Watermelon, Then Where'd I Leave the Baby?: Help for the Highly Distractible Mom"). I thought to myself, 'yeah, I guess I can get a bit distracted'. Little did I know that probably the next day I would realize just how bad it was. I was trying to explain some math concept to one of the boys and I noticed that his fingernails REALLY needed to be cut. It took EVERY ounce of self control to not interrupt what we were doing and go cut them that very second. I immediately thought back to the video. Yep. I'm a distracted mom. But something in what she said in the video really hit a nerve deep within. At first she thought that she needed to fix this distractability and become the Pinterest perfect home schooling mom. She had charts and list and everything possible to keep herself organized and on task. Only it didn't work because the...

I'm finally trying to get my home school reports in to my support teacher and I'm realizing just how much my kids have not been listening to many of the things that I have been telling them to do. It's almost like they are on a quest to see how little they can do/get away with before I get upset with them. However, I think my frustration level with this is probably linked more to my realization that I'M not doing things that I think God has told ME to do (or told me to stop doing but I'm still doing them). So, I'm reaping what I'm sowing- and I hate it. But I've also realized something else- my heart doesn't really want to change things. My head KNOWS I should, but the 'rubber is not meeting the road' at this point. After all, who really doesn't like being selfish and getting their way and doing whatever they want when they want to do it? Forget about serving others, I want to be served! And yet, it grieves me each night when ...

It's June! Already!?! This year has really flown by. June marks the end of my 4th year of homeschooling. In some ways I still feel like a 'newbie'- like I'm just starting out, wondering how it all is going to work out and if I'm going to mess up my kids' education! When we first started out, our home school area was a corner of our playroom. Needless to say they were more interested in playing than school work. Just to make life more interesting (besides being pregnant with baby #5 when we started), we decided to close in the covered sundeck and create a bedroom & home school room. I did okay until we hit the drywall stage- I gave up doing any 'formal' schooling till it was finished. In other ways, I'm almost feeling like a seasoned veteran. I even have the occasional mom who is newer at this home schooling gig asking me, 'How do you do it?'. Oh my! If they only knew! Anyway, it's a question that even I have ask...

This week got away from me. I had intended on doing a Mother's Day blog. Really, I even have two different drafts going at the moment (that probably have enough ideas for six different posts). However, the more I thought about them, the less they seemed to work in my mind. So I did nothing. Oh my, how often is that the case with life. We'd rather err on the side of doing nothing than risk failing at something. Or is it that we already feel like we're failing at so many things, that we just don't want to risk bombing out at yet another thing in our lives? So we wait. And do nothing. But where does that get us?  Nowhere.  Literally. I think if we're honest with ourselves, that's not where we want to be. Prov. 29:18a says that "Where there is no vision, the people perish." And when we do nothing, when we risk nothing, it's because we either can't see the vision or we've lost sight of the vision.  Either way, is suck...