WRAD Memories

Expectations. I have come to realize that I have a love-hate relationship with 'Expectations'. Before something happens you have this dream of what it's going to look like. And, the longer you have to wait the bigger the expectations become (at least for me it's seemed that way). Expectations: being given a picture and told to replicate it in cake form. I have grand ideas of what all my cake attempts should look like (think professional perfection)- but the reality of my experience doesn't always translate the same way. Thankfully this one turned out really well! Then you hit reality. You finally get what you've been waiting/wanting/dreaming for all that time. But, it's different than what you were expecting it to be/look like. Not that it's bad or anything (although sometimes it can be). It's just different than what you dreamt it would be. My life seems to be just that- hoping and praying for things to happen only to have reality ...

Over the past few weeks Rebekah and I have had an on-going argument. The general gist goes something like this: R: Jesus is dead. Me: Yes, he did die, but God brought Him back to life. R: No He didn't. He's dead and I want Him to stay dead. Me: It doesn't matter what you want here, He's alive whether you like or not. R: I don't. Me: exasperated sigh and much praying ensues. I was beginning to wonder where I went wrong with her. Was I not giving her enough time each day because I was so preoccupied with the boys and their school work? Probably- but was that it? Were we letting her watch something that we shouldn't be? Again, probably- but what was it exactly and was that the reason? Finally, a few days ago, something happened. After waking up Rebekah came up to me and told me that she had had a dream. As is my custom when my children tell me that they've had a dream, I ask them what it was about. As a side note, I am a prolific dreamer and ...

The first time it dawned on my was when Elijah was 6 weeks old. The first 'real' smile from our baby and Graham had gotten it. I was mad! I was also hurt, angry, confused... Why had HE gotten the first smile when I'm taking care of this baby 24/7? I'M the one that is up all night with him. I'M the one spending hours every day feeding him, changing his diaper, etc. But that's when I realized it- I was spending so much time 'taking care of' my baby that I forgot to enjoy my baby. And that's all that Graham did. Once I realized what I was doing (or rather NOT doing) I made some changes and eventually got my own smiles. But somehow, over time, I've fallen back into that rut. I've been so focused on the tasks of parenting that I've been missing out on the relationships of parenting. Teaching manners, training in chores, getting their school work done, music practiced- you know the parenting drill. Working for perfection and mis...

Have you ever had one of those days where you just feel like nearly every decision you make seem to be bad ones? Or maybe it seems like it's been weeks... or months... or even years! You think that you have all your logical reasons for or against something, but then after you move in that direction it no longer seems like such a great idea? It's kind of ironic some days that my baptism verse was Is. 30:21 "Whether you turn to the right or to the left, your ears will hear a voice behind you, saying, "This is the way; walk in it."." There are so many days that I either haven't felt like I heard anything or when I thought I heard something, somehow it didn't seem like it was really the right voice that I heard. My first foray into hearing God's voice was while reading the book by Bill Hybels "Too Busy Not to Pray" (I think). From that time on I've tended to live by the idea that as long as it doesn't contradict scriptur...

I started a summer project. Oh yes, not like bringing home a puppy wasn't enough craziness for the summer- I've gone and added something else. I set a goal for myself- read through my bible in 90 days. At first I hummed and hawed about doing it. Would I really retain anything to make it worthwhile? Shouldn't I do a slow methodical study to get as much as possible out of it? Blah, blah, blah... Then I figured, anything that gets me at least reading my bible on a regular basis (whatever the outcome) would be a GOOD thing. So I started out with great enthusiasm and even got a day ahead of myself. Now, I'm behind (surprise, surprise). REALLY behind. Out of town visitors and a week of camping will do that, but I'm working on getting caught up again. Until then, I want to share a little nugget that I got from Ex. 36:2. "Then Moses summoned Bezalel and Oholiab and every skilled person to whom the Lord had given ability and who was willing to come and ...

I don't know about you, but finding a quiet moment during the day to 'find my marbles' can be really hard. I guess having five kids around 24/7 will do that. I still chuckle when I remember reading about what Suzanna Wesley would do to get some 'quiet' time (she had 10 kids, by the way!)- she would sit down in her rocking chair and take her apron and flip it up over her head. That was the signal that nobody had better bug her! She did this everyday before she schooled her children. I can't imagine my kids not terrorizing each other (just like how they're fine until the phone rings- and then their misbehaviour is in direct proportion to the importance of the call)! Before I had kids, I had lots of time to get into my prayer closet and 'be still'. Oh, how I miss those days! It's been a challenge to figure out how to be still the more kids I have. I often long for the intimacy and excitement of those days- we had an extra room that was mine, a...

I went to my parents for lunch after church today. Several hours later it was time to pack up the kids and go home. Lo and behold, not one of them wanted to leave. It's really hard to compete with no screen restrictions and the pool- I mean really, why on earth would they ever want to leave? Since tomorrow is my wedding anniversary, my mom graciously agreed to keep all the kids so I can sleep in! What are the chances that I'll be able to do that now that I can? It really was a nice quiet evening. Graham and I could actually have a full conversation that wasn't getting interrupted every five seconds by either a scream child or nagging questions. We both reminisced about how this was our life before kids (and how long it had been since we'd actually been at home together, without a specific purpose to occupy us (like our never-ending reno's), with not even one kid around). But you know what? It didn't take long for both of us to agree that even in the mi...

Yesterday my sweet Jeremiah got another 6 teeth pulled (thankfully he had recently lost one, otherwise it was going to be 7 teeth!). Over the years, he's already had more than a half-dozen teeth pulled, in addition to all the ones that he's lost on his own (or that his brother's have 'accidentally' knocked out). So, in an effort to reduce his growing anxiety about needles in his mouth (and hopefully stem off braces), I asked that he be put under and do them all at once. Unfortunately, while he appreciated this, it ended up giving him a new reason to be anxious. He's a man of few words, so I don't always know what's going on inside his head- but then he'll come up to me and say what appears to be some random comment. To an outsider, they might think it odd. But I'm not an outsider, I'm his mom. And mom's know things. So then, the dilemma now is, how do I help my son learn to cope? The world is uncertain and sometimes bad things d...

A while back I started something I called 'The Truth Project'. It came out of the idea that most of the frustrations I was having stemmed from lies that I was believing were truth. Then, I would make decisions based on whatever I believed to be true. Eventually, we reap what we have sown (Prov. 11:17-19; Prov. 22:7-9 for a couple examples). Honestly, I'm not all that fond of some of the things that I've been reaping in my life these days. So, I started working on my Truth Project. You can do it however you want, mine seems to be constantly evolving, but I started out with a new notebook and at least 2 different coloured pens. I would then sit down and pray for God to reveal a lie that was impacting my life. Normally it wouldn't take very long and a thought would pop into my head- so I would take the first colour and write out what that lie was. Next, I would do another prayer- this time asking God to reveal what HE had to say about this lie that I was thinki...