Skip to main content

Small Victories

Lately I haven't been feeling like I'm getting anywhere with things.

I'm dwelling too much on what's NOT working (or getting done, etc.), than I am on what IS working. The laundry piles, the cluttered counters and dirty dishes, the 'still unplanned home school/day schedule', kids who've decided that they don't want to listen or do anything you've told them for the past 10 years! Yadda, yadda, yadda.

It's easy to get dragged down into the dumps when you do that. This then becomes a catch-22 where you get so upset that you just want to numb yourself in some way: internet, Facebook, reading, hobbies, eating, drinking, drugs, etc.

The list is long of things that we use to fill the hole that's there in our lives. Unfortunately, what they all have in common is that fact that the moment we turn to them instead of to God- they become our idols.

As I've been reading through the Old Testament I've been pondering the whole 'heart attitude' concept- and checking mine to try and see where all the 'high places' are in my life. Those places and things that I turn to and give my time to instead of taking the problems, hurts and disappointments to God. Food and computer being my biggest two areas.

I think that there are a lot of places that need to be torn down in my life. However, tonight I celebrate a small victory and I want to share it with some- so here you go.

Normally if I need to go pick up the odd bit of groceries, I usually buy myself a 'treat' (chocolate bar, doughnut, etc.). Nobody but me ever knows about this since I handle the finances (well, okay- now anyone who reads this will know, but so far that's a pretty low number at this point).

Tonight I needed to run out and pick up some stuff to make my husband's lunch for tomorrow. Almost the entire way there I was thinking about what I could get for my 'treat'. Even though I know that eating something like that this late at night will not be conducive to anything that resembles sleeping for the next few hours.

But I didn't do it.

Oh, I looked at the options and thought about it. But in the end, I didn't do it.

And that made me happy.

So for tonight, in spite of a day that had some nasty moments that made me want to cry, I will relish in this victory.

Tonight I won.

Keeping it real, by the grace of God...
Tammy
Labels:

Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

Filling the Wrong Bucket

I didn't cave. I also should have just stayed off of Facebook, but I didn't cave. Last summer I chose NOT send my kids to summer camp- even though, seemingly, ALL their friends were going. The same week. All of them. Well, not really, of course. But honestly, with Facebook status updates coming in fast and furiously- it really did seem like it. And I wondered, 'Am I a bad mom because I didn't send my kids to summer camp with their friends?' At one point, I seriously thought about calling up the camp (after the week had started) and seeing if I couldn't somehow manage to get them in anyway. I let the thought pass- and didn't cave. But I still feel a tinge of guilt about it and I'm dreading the decision about this summer already. Fast forward a few more months- to February 7, 2014 to be exact. Pretty much anyone with even the slightest interest in Lego will know what that date means. The release of their first full-length feature movie....
Post a Comment
Read more

When Things are Broken...

One of the main reasons that I haven't been writing over the past year (other than being really busy with cadets and my grandmother's ongoing history project....) is that things have been pretty crappy around here. I haven't really been feeling like I'm getting anywhere with anything- so how could I put a great spin on something that just seems to suck? In the past when I'd tried blogging (or journaling), it always seemed like I was just whining and complaining about the same things over and over again. And nobody really wants to hear about that, so then I just don't write. People have enough garbage going on in their own lives that they don't need to listen to someone else whine about theirs. But is that really where we're at? I know that there has been some backlash against this with the 'Bad Mommy' type memoirs and blogs, however, that's not really what I'm talking about. I think it's sometimes about being real and vulner...
Post a Comment
Read more

Is Giving Up Failing?

Where to begin? This year has been crazy. Not just for me, but for a lot of my home schooling friends as well. I thought that going into year five of this home schooling journey was a bit of an 'arrival' of sorts. That just maybe I had 'made it' and was on to smoother sailings. Uhm.... no... Getting rid of the dog lifted a huge weight of the constant responsibility- but at the same time the heaviness was still there. Like a daughter who would break out into weeping fits when she thought about the dog and still asks me when he's coming back or when I will get another dog to replace him. I expended copious amount of time trying to deal with and train him- and getting rid of him signaled yet another failure that was emotionally hard to deal with. We also signed Elijah up with our local Air Cadet program and I have been volunteering with that as well. It's been interesting getting 'out' into the world again. For the past number of years our family ...
Post a Comment
Read more